Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Black and Blue

Have you seen the poster for the new movie INCEPTION?

This is the new movie from Christopher Nolan,
 director of The Dark Knight
 


I think he REALLY likes this street, because this was "shot" there too-




At least his posters are getting more creative as time goes on. That whole black and blue faces look was a little tired..


Monday, December 14, 2009

EXTRADORDINARY photoshoppin' MEASURES were taken



Have you seen the poster for the new Brendan Fraser/Harrison Ford movie
"Extraordinary Measures"?

(seen on left)

CBS, who are you kidding?
It's been a looooong time since Harrison Ford looked like this!





Are you re-using promotional photos left-over from
K-19: The Widowmaker?
Indiana Jones?
Star Wars?


All one needs to do is an image search for recent photos of Harrison Ford to see that he looks nothing like he does on that poster anymore. Don't get me wrong, I like the guy, but he's definitely no spring chicken.
It just drives me crazy to see someone attempt to make Brendan Fraser who is 41 and Harrison Ford  who is 67 look the same age!

This is Photoshop 101 people! You don't completely take away wrinkles, you merely fade them a bit (um, how about an adjustment layer perhaps)!






Thursday, November 12, 2009

What Do You Give the Spoiled Rich White Lady Who Has Everything? Why, A Black Man Of Course!

I must start off by saying that I think the movie The Blind Side looks beyond terrible, which makes me completely biased in my review of anything relating to it.

The first time I saw the trailer I let out a gigantic laugh when I heard the lines
RANDOM LADY
"Hey, you're changin' that boy's life."

SANDRA BULLOCK
"No (dramatic pause), he's changin' mine."

I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one in the theatre laughing. This film looks like a MOW at best. (My apologies to anyone who wants to go see it; I understand we all have soft spots and guilty pleasures) Since I didn't plan on seeing the movie (ever) its existence slipped from my thoughts.....

....That is, until I ran into this invite (shown on the left) in the LA Times today asking me to "Experience" The Blind Side" a full 3 days before it's officially released.




The first thing I noticed about this poster for The Blind Side (shown on the left) is that it reminds me a lot of the poster for the movie My Giant (shown below on the right).
Honestly, there's not much you can do when you want to show how truly massive someone is over someone else. Their plots aren't similar at all though...

However there is a plot that is sort of similar.


Is it just me, or does anyone else think that this movie The Blind Side sounds a lot like a grown-up drama version of The Toy? (if you're not familiar with that movie, you can watch the trailer here) I see it is "based on an extraordinary true story" but come on, who are you kidding.... What do you give the spoiled white lady who has everything? A black kid/man? Yeah... that'll teach 'em!

This has got to be one of the most un-extraordinary plot lines of the century. If you're interested in this sort of black society -vs- white society thing, I suggest you go watch Carl Reiner's The Jerk or Melvin Van Peeble's The Watermelon Man which I'm sure have more substance than this. (granted, I haven't seen The Blind Side, but do I really need to?)

Lastly, did anyone else notice the awful Photoshop job of Sandra Bullock's hand is on the poster? This can NOT be real. Just look at how unnatural it's bending and how it is oddly shaped. Did someone honestly pass this?

You know, if you're trying to sell a heartfelt moving drama, at least do a better job making it look like your "changed for the better" lead character actually cares about her newly "adopted" son. This looks like she's hired another arm to touch the boy with so she doesn't have to do it herself. (what a rich spoiled bitch! She didn't change at all -Ugh!)

Maybe I'm being too harsh on this movie.... (I have had a few drinks and I have no sensor "button" anymore) I guess we'll find out if the rest of America feels the same way next week when The Blind Side opens wide on November 20th.










Monday, November 9, 2009

Going Green

NEW! From the writer of Shrek and Shrek 2 comes Planet 51!

How do you make 2 Green CGI characters fresh after you've exhausted them in 3+ movies? (and I hear a new one is on the way)
You re-vamp the series by  making a whole planet out of them!

(Come on, Ogres/Aliens- same thing!)

...and just in case you're living on Planet 51, here is a picture of Shrek for reference-

Friday, November 6, 2009

The Poster Thief strikes again!

One thing I love to do is to call out copycats.
(I calls 'em like I sees 'em)
You might be surprised to know that we seem to have a lot of those out here in Hollywood.


I mean, is it just me, or does anyone else think that the new Wolfman poster looks oddly familiar?


You know, perhaps like this?


They even used the same color schemes. Don't get me wrong, this is a great design, but by no means original.
(Thanks SKX!)


Did you hear that G.I. Joe just got released this week?
What did their posters look like again? Oh wait, I remember those were vaguely familiar too.


Like, this one-
 

...and this one


...and this one


(for your sake, I won't keep going as I assume you get the idea by now)






My Parting Words of Wisdom
If you're thinking about moving to Hollywood to share your original idea with the world, I think its best you just stay home. We're going to go with last year's...

Friday, October 23, 2009

Cirque du Freaky Head

It Had To Begin Somewhere..
Getting a copy of the Los Angeles Times is a weekly treat for me. My subscription is for Thursday through Sunday only, which means on two weekday mornings, I open the door and see the paper teetering on the stairs of my second floor apartment. I love being up-to-date on what's happening around my city and the world, but that's not the best part of the LA Times for me. No, the best part about seeing that paper at my feet is that it means that the weekend is VERY near.

On the two week days that I get the paper, I like to take it with me to work and flip through the pages of the Calendar section while I check my emails. Like clockwork, you can bet that on one of those days, I will find a new full page ad (usually for a movie) that shows someone's face rendered weird by Photoshop. I run around the office, paper in hand, pointing it out to my coworkers. Those I show usually all agree (maybe just to humor me) that something, has most definitely gone wrong during the editing process. Since these outbursts are probably growing tiresome to those who work closest to me, I thought I'd share it with a new audience.

The First Offense
As per usual, this morning I brought my paper with me to work. I sat down at my desk with a cup of wild sweet orange Tazo tea (one of my newest obsessions) and began flipping through the Calendar section when I happened upon this-


A full page ad for the film The Vampire's Assistant (which you can see up close here). Right away it's obvious that something has gone wrong with this "victim's" head. His eyes are really oddly shaped and oversized. It looks like someone made the top of his head way larger than the bottom half. Just to make sure I wasn't crazy, I found a still from the movie to compare. The difference here is obvious.

The victim with the big funky alien-like head is named Chris Massoglia. You might argue that they altered Chris's head for effect and you know, you may be right. However, I don't see the appeal of making one character's head on a poster look like a bratz doll while leaving all the other people on the poster's body parts normal. John C. Reilly's head is normal, Salma Hayek's boobs look big as usual and even the boy (who looks like he's part of a domestic abuse case- what's up with that?) who is standing in the background looks symmetrical and human like.

Who knows what went wrong here. It's just....bizarre.
It's definitely not one of the worst Photoshop massacres I've seen and will only receive a one star offense rating.
______________________________
Rating System
* Photoshop Purgatory- ever heard of an adjustment layer?
** The Gates of Photoshop Hell- it's almost too late for you
*** Photoshop as a form of torture-we're all suffering from your art
**** There are no words that can describe the atrocity you've just commited. Do us all a favor and slit your wrists with those Photoshop installation discs.

Death by Photoshop